Do you remember a time when avoiding the truth seemed easier than facing it?
Often find yourself distracted or “busy” when it’s time to reflect on your feelings?
Each day, numerous individuals, including myself, mask emotions and dismiss genuine needs, not out of strength, but from a deep-seated fear of confronting the uncomfortable truths that linger within. This seemingly easy way out creates a life of conflict and disharmony within. It goes beyond deciding to start earlier or stay back late at work to avoid family conflicts, or using sarcasm when you should be honest. For years, I lived this way….overworking and coaching junior Soccer non-stop to avoid dealing with my core feelings.
Avoidance behaviour is a common, everyday part of human behaviour that manifests as addiction, overworking, and procrastination. These behaviours shield us from the vulnerability that comes with confronting our desires, fears, and setbacks head-on.
Understanding your avoidance patterns is the first step toward change. These patterns often stem from deep fears and unresolved traumas, fuelling a cycle of anxiety and escape. The more you shy away from facing your emotions, the more intense your internal conflicts become, robbing you of the joy and experiences life offers.
However, imagine a life where you confront these truths with courage from within your courageous heart….a life where facing your fears head-on every single moment is a sign of honesty and resilience rather than fear.
This path is not without pain. Yet, through this pain, you discover growth, understanding, and genuine self-love….truly outstanding!
It is important to reflect deeply….
What are the truths you are avoiding?
What conversations are you not having?
What decisions are you postponing or ignoring?
These are the types of questions that lead to a genuine and fulfilled life….not an “artificial” one. A life of authenticity and meaning.
Breaking the cycle of avoidance involves peeling back the layers of comfort and safety you have built around yourself over the years and exposing the raw and often tender truths beneath. The journey of contemplation and conflict is not taken alone. Whether it is seeking professional help or finding support through a friend or spiritual leader, overcoming avoidance is about owning what you believe and living a life aligned with your deepest values and desires.
Transitioning from a people-pleaser to a self-respecting individual involves setting boundaries that protect your emotional energy and prioritise your well-being. This change means saying “yes” to a life that truly reflects your personal values and aspirations. For instance, I started by choosing engagements that aligned more with my needs than merely pleasing others, significantly reducing my commitments to coaching and staying late at work.
Moreover, discarding the habit of anticipating negative outcomes fosters a healthier, more optimistic approach to life’s interactions. It entails replacing fear-driven inner dialogues with a balanced view that recognises the potential for both conflict and positive, constructive outcomes. Adopting this attitude, you become open to possibilities and equipped to face challenges proactively, leading to a more empowered and confident life.
It is time to STOP avoiding your truths and start living them.
“People often avoid the truth for fear of destroying the illusions they’ve built.”
~ Joshua Fields Millburn (Author)
Sava Politis
